Parenting Ideas (Tag: developmental)

National Dictionary Day

Today is National Dictionary Day - A great day to play a game of Scrabble with your kids or maybe Pictionary or even a Mad Libs puzzle. Have fun with words. Having magnetic letters or words on your refrigerator is a good way to leave little messages and have fun. Play with words at your children's level - but let them see the fun that words and communication could be.

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Family Craft TIme

Family Craft Time - So often we have our children do crafts but we often are busy with our own stuff we do not sit down with them. Take some time and do crafts with your children. Help them, support them and work on your own - share this time together with them. Let your inner child out and have fun - even put your work on the refrigerator too!

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Family Reading Time

Family Reading Time - So often we tell our children to read while there are other things going on. I found if your children can read on their own - it is really helpful if the whole family sits down and reads their own books together in the same room. That way everyone can be close, spend time and we as parents are leading by example.

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Creating Calming Time Out TImers

Creating Calming time out timers - A friend posted this link - and I found it amazing - you can create your own time out timer that is calming - while watching and waiting for the glitter to settle it calms them out of their anger. It is inexpensive and easy to do - also the blog has many other great parenting ideas!

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Separating Therapy from Real Life

Separating Therapy from Real Life - it is important for your child to feel safe in therapy. One of the hardest things for parents to do is to ignore some of the hurtful things that happen in therapy. Some of our children will say some hurtful or upsetting things in therapy and if a parent reacts negatively or punitively to them during the course of real life - the child will be less likely to open up in therapy.

Try to think of therapy as it's own self contained world. You may gain insight but other times you may have to deal with rage or pain or even avoidance that is frustrating or painful. Leave those negative feelings in therapy - remembering that if your child learns to feel safe in therapy that progress can be made.

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Lighting

Lighting - in movies lighting plays a key role. It can do so in your own daily routine. When your children are doing homework make sure there is good lighting to read by - not overly bright but not too dim. For dinners, you may find that dimming the lights gives a friendlier and quieter time. If you do not have the ability to dim the lights - consider some white Christmas lights plugged in near the dinner table could give that light and add a festive feeling.

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness - Forgetting and Forgiving are 2 different things. Forgetting someone wronged or hurt you would be to set yourself up for being wronged or hurt that way again. Forgiving though is something you do for yourself not for the person who wronged or hurt you.

Our children often hurt us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually due to the way trauma shaped their lives. We should not forget what they have done because it helps us dodge some of those hurtful behaviors in the future but we need to forgive and let go of the hurt so we do not waste that energy and space on the negative.

It is hard to forgive when we have been hurt over and over but we must remember that our children were shaped by early childhood trauma and their brains do not react the same way as a child who was not exposed to that trauma. In order for our child to grow and overcome their past we must forgive and let go of that hurt so we can see the changes they are making.

I know from my own experiences that this is often very hard to do. But forgiving will give you back the energy and positivity that you need to keep being a loving parent to your child.

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Warm Blanket Therapy

Warm Blanket Therapy -Sometimes snuggle time can be made cozier and more warm and loving by sticking a blanket into the dryer for a couple of minutes before using it for snuggle time. Or if your child comes in from the rain consider a towel that just came out of the dryer. There is a reason we think of love being warm - even if our children cannot handle being held by our warm arms and body - sometimes a warm blanket or towel will allow them to feel our love.

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Early Childhood Trauma

This is an easy to understand video dealing with children who have been traumatized at a young age.

An introduction to developmental trauma and its effects. Ever wondered what was happening with your child? The one who rages, steals, and  manipulates
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Grieving

Grieving - We all have dreams of what we hope our children become or attain. We all had ideas of what raising a child would be like. We had ideas and dreams of giving birth or adoption to build our family. Reality is most often different from our ideas and dreams. In order to be with our children in the moment, meet them where they are and see them for the unique individual that they are - we often need to allow ourselves to grieve for our dreams that will not be the ideas of what life with our children would be like. If we do not grieve and instead hold onto our dreams we will be frustrated every time reality and our dreams are not the same. It is ok to grieve for that which is not - a dream or idea is real in our mind - to allow ourselves to focus on reality we often have to grieve for the loss of that dream or idea. This is not just for all of the moms out there but also for the dads - it is ok to grieve and everyone grieves differently. Acknowledge that which will not happen and grieve for it - this will free yourself to really see your child and meet them where they are for who they are.

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